How many times have we said how we would love to go back to those college years when things were simpler and all we had to do was go to class and study? Knowing what many of us know now, we could make better grades, get better boyfriends/girlfriends, make better decisions and change the outcome of our lives? Life doesn't give us second chances, does it?
So, many of us have children and it seems that people live vicariously through the lives of their children. We've seen this happen on the little league ball field, in beauty pageants, and in numerous other ways. I have recently experienced something that reminds me of this and frankly, it goes back to the serious disease our society is experiencing; the "it's not my fault, it's someone elses fault, its not my responsibilility syndrome." I wish we could either find a vaccine for this or just put these people in an institution somewhere. I apologize if I seem unsympathetic today. I'll explain and perhaps this will seem more clear....
My college-age daughter, who is 22 recently had a roommate who graduated. This left us with the decision of whether to have her live alone the last year of college or to try to find another roommate. We didn't really want her living alone and with the ever-rising cost of living (and who knows what this crap and tax is going to do to electric rates) we decided she should find a friend to move in. So last April a friend knew she'd be looking for a new place decided she'd move in. The lease had to be signed in July but she wanted to go ahead and move in. We said ok but she had to go ahead and sign the lease.
Well to make a short story long, she moves in, lives there until mid-June and still hasn't signed the lease. By this time, our daughter who is taking summer classes and is trying like crazy to keep her GPA as high as possible and is taking classes is realizing this roommate (but who really ISN'T a roommate because she hasn't signed the lease yet) is getting on her nerves. This girl is not working, is not taking classes and is basically slumming. She has her boyfriend there ALL of the time. They hang out in the common area, watching my daughter's television, they are trashing the place (they're messy and my daughter hates this, they do not pick up after themselves), and the roommate goes out drinking every night and comes in at all hours of the morning and this awakens my daugther who is trying to get her sleep because she has to be in class early.
Well, finally, one of the times the "awakening" happens, my daughter gets up and tells the roommate (shall we call her "Lauren") that she is being extremely disrespectful by coming in and making noise, knowing that she is trying to sleep and has class the next morning. Lauren, being the drunken fool that she is, does something very stupid. She jumps into my daughter's face and begins yelling at her. My daughter, who is a very timid and meek person, tells her that she does not want to go "there" with her at that time. But the girl simply will not shut up.
Oh, the trials and tribulations of being a mother! My telephone rings at 3:00 a.m. It's my daughter, she has her bedroom door locked and I can hear the roommate pounding on the door screaming in the background (before I even hear my daughter's voice). This is very disconcerting. I am scared. My daughter's tearful voice on the phone says, "Mom, Lauren is scaring me and her boyfriend is yelling at me too and they are drunk and are ganging up on me and I'm trying to sleep and they won't leave me alone. What do I do?" Okay, I have no idea what has happened, but this makes me angry. This makes me angry because 1. This is my house 2. The girl has been living there out of the kindness of our hearts although she still hasn't signed the lease 3. That does it.
I tell my daughter to tell the girl who is acting like a junior high little girl that her mother is on the telephone and that she has exactly one week from that day to get all of her things out of "her" house. If, at that time, she does not have all of her things out, her mother will personally come and remove them and put them at the curb and the locks will be changed. She (the roommate) no longer has the option of signing the lease. She will be looking for a new roommate.
I tell my daugther that if the girl and her boyfriend give her anymore trouble to file a police report for harassment and call me. Well, they still bother her. She has to lock all of her personal things in her bedroom and has to leave to stay with someone else. She comes home for the weekend. This is such a juvenile mess.
We get the girl out and have the locks changed. We think this is over. We are grateful that the girl never signed the lease to begin with because what if she had? My daughter would've been STUCK with that crazy girl all year long. Whew! God takes lemons and makes lemonade. My daughter finds a nice girl and we "think" she has a good roommate for the rest of the year and next school session.
Oh, but things aren't done yet. Last night (or shall I say early this morning). Lauren's MOTHER calls me (at 3 am) and wants to know what "happened". She says that her PERFECT and WONDERFUL daughter has told her the TRUE story of what happened and she wants to talk to me about this. I am stunned (and sleepy). I just said, "you called me at this time of the morning. DECENT people do not call other people at this hour. Why are you calling me and who are you? What do you want to talk about? What does any of this matter? She continued to blab into the telephone and I didn't really hear any of it...I just said "take it up with the police..." and hung up. In the darkness of my bedroom, I added her number to my contacts list and clicked the button "send directly to voicemail" and then couldn't get back to sleep.
Now, my point of this blog is (well, I had one when I began this) why do people like drama? Don't we have enough in our lives? I never liked this stuff when I was in Junior High or High School. I avoided this type of person like the plague. This is unnecessary. She must've been drunk or on pills or drugs. Then I began to wonder if something had happened with my daughter but then I thought, nah, she would've called. Then I got angry. What did she want to do, talk about it, make up (I have nothing to make up about) and hold hands and sing kumbaya or something?
Life is just too short. This woman, is delusional. She actually told me that her daughter is perfect. Of course, that is her right, I suppose. But that's part of what's wrong with kids today. Their parents think their children ARE perfect. Children are NOT perfect, no one is perfect except Jesus Christ. I love my children more than anything but they are NOT perfect. My daughter in college is wonderful but she is not perfect. I know she does things I do not approve of but to fool myself and think she is "perfect" would be stupid. Please. Parents, your children are NOT perfect and if you think so, get that Bible out and start reading. You are not perfect, either. Got news for you, hate to break it to you but it is very true.
Well, that's my rant for the day. I wish the woman well and she needn't be calling me in the middle of the night again. She best not show up on my property, either. She will be met with a baseball bat and (remember, this is my property) a 911 call. I think she's nuts. I want no nutty people around me. There is enough nuttiness in my life with all of this dictator taking over America, mandated healthcare (started out as "we just want to provide healthcare for those who can't afford it and now we are being MANDATED health care - hey I already have it and now the dictator is going to take what I have that I like and pay for myself give me something I don't want and don't like and won't be as good as what I had and tell me if I don't sign up for it I'll be fined). Please