It is amazing how no matter where we may be in our lives or what we know or think we know; even if we think we know ourselves, there is ALWAYS something else to learn.
I recently wrote a two-part piece published at Rapture Ready called "God's Plan for Our Lives." It has received wonderful response and I love that particular piece. The last six weeks have taught me a lot about myself, more about God and who He is to me; specifically to me and who I am, and who I am not. It speaks about divine detours that God uses to teach us to trust Him, to prepare us for what may lie ahead. It speaks to divine deadends where we must make choices. This is one way He helps us build our Faith in Him. That article can be applied directly to my circumstances right now.
When one lives a perfectly-ordered life, there is no or little opportunity for growth. I have lived a pretty balanced life for many years. I had a great home, great family and was married to the man I loved dearly. Then everything was turned upside down. It is still upside down.
When one loses everything, and I do mean everything, that is dear to them; what to do? I have faced that question almost every time I've fallen asleep and opened my eyes, hoping that it was all just a bad dream and I would have my little Gizmo and Charlie beside me and the birds that stay in the Hackberry trees beside my bedroom window would be chirping. I used to hate to hear that first thing in the morning, but no more.
Now, I feel so sad; even sorrowful as I pass the turn to my old neighborhood. I no longer belong there. I belong nowhere. I thought I was isolated before. I was wrong. I AM isolated now. Not a single person to talk with unless a friend somewhere happens to call to check on me. But, I have learned that God is with me.
When I have had no place to shower, He has provided that. When I had no food, He has given me that, when I couldn't sleep, He gave me the most restful sleep I could imagine. He has protected me. The HOPE of tomorrow is what keeps me going TODAY.
I love the Bible. For a while, I didn't have one. I have many in my home, the one I used to have. A wonderful Christian friend sent a Bible to me. I was so happy to get it. I love to study God's word but have never truly studied the Book of Ecclesiastes. No more. It is a wonderful book, as are all the other 65.
Time. Who knows how much we have? God our Father knows. We have only the promise of today for we don't know what tomorrow will bring. I wasted many of my "todays" and I know this for looking back at what has been, I know the sorrow and pain I feel is for what COULD have been. I cannot dwell on the past, I only have today.
Take some advice from me: let what you do today make a difference in the life of someone you love. Tell your husband that you love him. Tell him and then kiss him like you did when you first met him. Hug all of your children and treasure each and every moment you have with them. For you only have those moments. Those moments I had would've been sweeter and more wonderful had I done what I have just advised you to do.
The Preacher tells us, "A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one's birth. It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting; for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart. Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools.
Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof; and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry; for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider: God also hath set the one over against the other, to the end that man should find nothing after him." Ecc 7:1,2,3,4,5,8,9
I fully understand those words now. They speak to my spirit and to my heart very loudly. To do God's will, to make today the best day of your life, to love those in your life as you never have is the best you can do. None know what time they have nor does one know where they might be tonight, tomorrow or ever.
I look back in sorrow. I mourn for everything. I grieve for my loss. But, I have my Heavenly Father and He will never leave me.